sad, never a big fan of yast but appreciate a european owned distro

this is very good news. I had tried Nextcloud several years ago as a self host and it seemed quite clunky and unfinished. I guess things have moved on if its ready for org use!

KeepassXC and Strongbox on iOS. using mailbox.org webdav (via rclone mount for KeepassXC) for my vault sync, plus yubikey slot 2 HMAC challenge response which works great. Not missing vaultwarden too much

this sounds doable. i do something similar with syncthing. it depends on the internet connection speeds. see how it goes with wireguard. between two home NAT networks you might find something lile tailscale easier to set up. wouldnt recommend doing this when youre not able to drive over there and fix things occasionally. ethernet preferable for reliable connection over wifi at the remote end. if you secure the pi well and update it it should be fine. note that you probably need to trust the remote household with your data.

its annoying. i cope with the sleep then hibernate after 30min setting

not a web dev. If I did want to make some minimal fast loading pages that don’t look awful, is there a decent framework out there that will do the styling? A bit of html is fine but learning CSS is just not on my to do list.