Women who lived together as friends for 30 years marry after confessing love
www.themirror.com
Cheryl Henderson, 65, and Lynn Bisbee, 78, married after living together near Columbia, South Carolina, since 1996.

Cheryl Henderson, 65, and Lynn Bisbee, 78, were married on Sept. 20, having live together since 1996.

The pair initially crossed paths through a mutual friend in 1993 and shared a home near Columbia, South Carolina, three years after.

Lynn says she was attracted to Cheryl from their very first meeting. But Cheryl admits she struggled to accept her own sexuality.

Her breakthrough moment came during a therapeutic somatic breathing session in June 2026, when she recognized she’d been “living in a dark prison” and desperately wanted liberation.

Cheryl confessed her feelings to Lynn, who proposed just weeks later. By September, the pair were finally exchanging “I dos.”

Cheryl, a retired therapist said: “It’s been a quick few months after years of waiting, but we’re so happy now. We just got back from our honeymoon and even though we lived together for decades, it feels deeper now.”

Lynn and Cheryl initially connected through a mutual friend at a women’s retreat in 1993 and bonded immediately.

Lynn, who was living in North Carolina at the time, would go on an hour-and-a-half drive to see Cheryl before they eventually moved in together three years later.

Lynn said: “I knew I was attracted to her from when I first saw her, but then we just became friends. We got on so well that I was happy to make these trips, but it soon became pretty arduous so we decided to move in together.”

At the beginning of 2026, Cheryl chose to prioritize her wellbeing, with a physician recommending she explore somatic breathing. The technique involves intentional, conscious breathing to promote bodily relaxation.

During a virtual session, Cheryl envisioned herself trapped inside a dark prison - a vision that helped her recognize she yearned to escape.

Cheryl said: “It was a real awakening for me. I remember after the session I sat by myself on the sofa, just thinking, and after a few hours, I thought to myself ‘I guess I’m gay.’ And then after another hour, I remember thinking ‘I’m f***ing gay!’” I got up and spoke to Lynn and, although I barely remember what I said, I ended it by asking her if she wanted to come to bed with me tonight."

  • velma@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
    411·
    5 days ago

    Internalized homophobia. It can be very difficult to accept yourself if you’ve been taught to reject and hate gay people.

      • TheJesusaurus@piefed.caEnglish
        151·
        5 days ago

        These people are old to me, and I suspect you would consider me old. When I was a kid being gay was no bueno, but like we were no longer locking people in prison for it for the most part.

        When these girls were children it’s probably pretty unlikely that either would know or have ever been taught what gay even is, and it certainly as fuck wasn’t going to be allowed.

        Try for like a second and a half to put yourself in someone else’s shoes maybe before you spout all kinds of nonsense and you will seem significantly less ignorant

        • Drusas@fedia.io
          151·
          5 days ago

          I’m completely with you, but I don’t think the question warrants the insult you ended with.

        • KimLuff@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          1·
          3 days ago

          internalized homophobia is still homophobia, don’t be surprised if people are hurt by witnessing it even if they know the context of why. There’s no need to defend it.

            • KimLuff@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
              11·
              3 days ago

              “Try for like a second and a half to put yourself in someone else’s shoes maybe before you spout all kinds of nonsense and you will seem significantly less ignorant”

              This is bullshit. No ones job to empathize with homophobia.

        • Skullgrid@lemmy.worldEnglish
          71·
          5 days ago

          I am trying to get rid of my ignorance. It says one knew she was a lesbian and the other was closeted/unaware until when she came out to her roommate. If someone doesn’t think they are a lesbian, why/how do they live with a long term “roommate” who is a lesbian for that long without establishing some sort of “non-lesbian” lifestyle? Why does the lesbian not just go live with another lesbian? etc etc.

          Lynn says she was attracted to Cheryl from their very first meeting.

          So Lynn knew she was a lesbian. I assume Cheryl also knew Lynn was a lesbian.

          It’s not about “back then people were different” it’s more “how do you live in this oblivious state for so long?”

          • mig@lemmy.worldEnglish
            3·
            4 days ago

            Love isn’t always just about sex. You can love someone and want to spend every day with them even if you don’t want to have sex with them.

              • velma@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
                2·
                4 days ago

                Yes, not everyone gets married or lives with a romantic partner.

                DECEMBER 2, 2025 — Newly released estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s historical America’s Families and Living Arrangements tables show that fewer than half (47%) of U.S. households in 2025 were married couples — a significant shift from 50 years earlier, when nearly two-thirds (66%) were.

                Among married-couple households, the share with their own children declined over the past half-century. In 1975, more than half (54%) of married-couple households included their own children under age 18; by 2025, that share had declined to about 37%.

                Source

                • Skullgrid@lemmy.worldEnglish
                  13·
                  4 days ago
                  1. that’s people as a statistic, it doesn’t indicate changes over an individual’s life
                  2. That’s not taking into account their orientation and sexual relationships and living arrangements; and the statistics you’re providing only differentiate between people in marriage and not, and has no distinction between roommates and non-married couple or relatives like siblings or cousins, nor families with children above 18.
                  3. Once again, the point I’m making/question I’m asking has been glossed over
                  • velma@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
                    5·
                    4 days ago

                    I’m telling you that there are quite a lot of people who do live with friends. I don’t know why that is confusing to you.

                    Personally (and anecdotally), I’ve lived with a close friend for over a decade at this point. We’re not romantically involved, we just enjoy each other’s company and it is expensive to live.