“If my wings will not lift me, I’ll find something that does,” thought Opus. He heard a man screaming on TV everyone should own called Flap-O-Matic. Opus quickly ordered one. When it arrived, he put it together and hoped everything was right, since the instructions were in a different language. Opus carried it up to Vulture Gorge, strapped it on, and wound up the rubber band. Stepping on the edge, Opus looked down to the bottom three miles below. “Yow,” he gulped. He sighed, walked back home, and spent the rest of the day cooking anchovy Christmas cookies, which wasn’t nearly as dangerous.